I literally used to have panic attacks about the possibility of bumping into Harry Styles and him not falling in love with me.
A lot of that fear probably comes from the anxieties that have plagued my life since I was a kid. Another funny example: I used to be terrified to fall asleep if the bed was too close to the wall because I thought that a shark would come in my bed from the space between the bed and the wall and eat me. What the hell was wrong with me?
Even though I had daydreams about Harry Styles seeing me walk down the street or on my way to school (for reference, I grew up in Youngstown, Ohio, where I doubt Harry Styles has ever been), the realistic implication of meeting someone who I loved so much was crippling, hence the pseudo panic attacks. Sure, I had genuine anxieties about all different things, but this one topic was powerful, especially in my middle school years, when I was lucky enough to go to a few One Direction concerts.
I would be counting down the days to see my man in person, but once the days crept closer and closer, a confusing cocktail of excitement and nerves spurred within me, causing a great deal of stress towards a build-up of emotion. During the concerts, I nearly completely blacked out, and went home in the car feeling waves of post-concert depression that wouldn’t go away for weeks. Feelings towards individuals such as Harry Styles, Justin Bieber, various British YouTube personalities (most of whom turned out to be gay men), and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy altered my brain chemistry by making me so obsessed with them that if I knew I wouldn’t marry them one day (or at least become best friends with them), I was gonna die. Moral of the story: love hurts.
Podcaster and comedian Brooke Averick has spoken about these feelings on her podcast Obsessed and has even created a helpful “tier system” for ranking these obsessions. The tiers range from three to point five, with three being a more casual, situational infatuation where if you see this person in a movie or on TV, you might do a couple of Wikipedia deep dives on them or scroll to the bottom of their Instagram page, and point five being so intense that it becomes unbearable to consume any more content about them. Those of us lucky (and probably mentally ill) enough to understand this experience know how debilitating having a point five can be, which describes how I felt about Harry in the above example.
These obsessions, while can occasionally be placed on people who you know in real life (for example, if you have a crush on someone you don’t know very well), are typically feelings associated with characters or celebrities in media. And no, they don’t have to be real, or even human! While in my experience I lean towards humans, those who share these insanities may be able to apply them to, say Edward Cullen of Twilight or Spirit the Horse (yes, really). If you are feeling seen by what I’m writing about, you’ve come to the right place. If you are confused and/or intrigued to learn more, you have also come to the right place.
Actually, hold on, if you’re still feeling unsure, let me add a bit more clarification on how these celebrity obsessions might appear. Not all of these obsessions have to be individuals that you are romantically attracted to. In fact, some of the most intense celebrity obsessions are for female mega-pop stars with mostly women and LGBTQ+ fans, such as Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Ariana Grande, among many others. While most of their fans aren’t obsessed with them because they want to fuck them (at least not necessarily), those who “tier one” or even "point five" them encompass millions of people around the world, selling out arenas and shutting down social media sites with posts about them.
See, this is an important piece that most who aren’t afflicted don’t get: it is not just about a person’s outward appearance, it’s more than that.
The individual someone is obsessed with may be conventionally attractive, but the physical attraction does not maketh the obsession.
The obsession can come in the form of admiration, inspiration, and, a lot of the time, a certain je ne sais quoi that cannot be plainly recognized. When just scratching the surface, celebrity obsession seems shallow and unnecessary. But if understood more intently, the obsession is rooted in seeing these people as the talented, kind, intelligent people they are, or even just appear to be.
The intensity of these feelings, whether they are pure delusion or a genuine concoction of feeling inspired and amazed by other human beings, is something that I dwell on frequently. I have had plenty of dramatic obsessions, plenty more than the handful I mentioned earlier. That being said, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with all of these feelings. I feel so much for the celebrities I love, but what purpose does that serve in my life? Why do other people relate? Even though I’ve been joking about these obsessions being like a disease, are these obsessions actually bad for my mental health? These are just some of the answers I’m looking to uncover through this work. Through diving deep into my own obsessions (and the obsessions of others), can we find value in loving a celebrity so much that you feel like you’re gonna die?
types of obsessions, explained
Before we get into the meat of what good can come out of celebrity obsessions, I believe that it would be helpful first to outline some of the major “genres” of celebrity obsession that we see on Jeff Bezos’s internet. These obsessions can take many forms and are certainly not limited to what I have written here. However, I think that these examples really showcase the range of this type of interest.
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You would probably assume that people who are obsessed with certain celebrities either totally live for the drama or have parasocial relationships where they feel like these people are really their friends.
To that I say, stop judging me for how I live my life! Just kidding, however, there are little nuggets of truth in this way of thinking.
Some people really feel like they know and understand the famous people they love, and feel a deep connection to them as real individuals. Even though they have never met them, listening to their music, watching them in interviews, and seeing the way they exist in the world around them can be something comforting and even relatable.
While I can’t speak for everyone who has a celebrity they love, from conversations with friends and my own personal research,
these relationships are much more nuanced than a celebrity crush or a hall pass.
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Now, for the fun part! Here are some of the major categories of celebrity fandoms so that you can visualize what forms this concept can take.
I decided to focus on these topics more specifically because they are the ones that I am most familiar with, not because they are the most representative or necessarily the most intense fanbases. I have created a list that is simultaneously a good pool of study while also being groups that I feel like I can explain well, whether or not I consider myself a member of these fanbases. While there are plenty of other categories I could go through, especially since my perspective tends to lean on Western trends and experiences, these are the ones that encapsulate what kind of celebrity obsession I am getting at. Also, note that certain celebrities can be cross-listed into other categories that fit them too, of course depending on the relationship they have with specific fans.
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First, and possibly the most widely recognized category, is what I call “Insanely Famous and Insanely Loved.” Some of the biggest celebrities of our time also happen to have extremely dedicated fan bases who seemingly dedicate their entire lives to this person. There are several popular examples of this phenomenon, but the best-fitting one for my purposes is Taylor Swift. She is probably just as famous as Jesus, who similarly had a really loyal and strong following. Now that I’m thinking about it, have you ever seen them in the same room?
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As you may have been able to witness over the past few years with The Eras Tour and her most recent musical releases, Swifties are numerous, dedicated, and unabashedly obsessed with everything Taylor Swift does. They scream and cry at her concerts, listen to her music incessantly, and talk about her like she is the second coming. However, there is an interesting element of these obsessions that I think is of note. With mega stars like Swift, Harry Styles, and Ariana Grande, the fans who are the most obsessed with them also have deep, personal connections with their music. They are not bandwagoners, not just lovers of pop music, and not surface-level fanatics of these artists. Many of these fans feel as though they have grown up with this music and have had them as a constant, through the good and the bad. These artists serve as a soundtrack to their lives, with fun, lighthearted pop songs that make them feel happiness, but also more emotional, moving pieces of music that are incredibly personal to them. The obsession with the pop star is not something that should be taken lightly. The fans of these artists create their own relationship with their work that is simultaneously shared with millions of others, yet unique to each individual on a profound level.
The second category is a pretty stark contrast to the first example, which is precisely why I think it is best to introduce it early on. These are what I am calling the “Talented Older-ish Actors.” They are pretty much exactly how they are described: actors in their 40s and beyond who are just really good at acting. Fans of these people tend to be seasoned fans of other celebrities in their childhood, particularly those who grew up obsessed with One Direction or other teen-appropriate role models. However, while these types of fans are fixating on full-grown adults, these fans are usually under 30, flirty, and thriving!
I’d broadly state that this group of fans are young adult women who are used to having obsessions take over their lives. If you haven’t already guessed, I tend to fall victim to this category. Strangely, I’m not sure what makes these particular celebrities so obsession-worthy to fans. Some may chalk it up to their acting, but I’d say it’s gotta be another example of that je ne se quoi that can’t really be described just right.
These people just have that thing that makes them so likable and particularly attractive to young, cool, funny, smart, stunningly beautiful, awesome women, just like me! Well, maybe part of that thing is that they really aren't held up to the standards that young women, their main obsessive fanbase, are held to. These individuals are given the space to really good at something without compromise. They can just be talented, they don't have to also be conventionally beautiful, fit, or even all that nice. Just as long as they are committed to their craft, which, for young women, is a luxury we do not have, which may be why we idolize them so much.
It is vital to note that this category is also not overtly sexual, but it definitely can be. Some people love these celebrities because of that je ne se quoi thing, but many others do project their fantasies of the sexy, older partner onto these individuals too. Different strokes for different folks, I guess. Some notable examples are Succession actor Jeremy Strong, recent Oscar winner Cillian Murphy, any of the actresses from the movie Ocean’s 8, and last but certainly not least, my current tier one, Pedro Pascal.
Next is the category of Gay Icons, or celebrities with a large following of mostly LGBTQ+ individuals. These people just speak to the girls, gays, and theys in a way that cannot be completely understood by straight people. If you get it you get it, and if you don’t you don’t.
While examples can come in the form of really any profession, these individuals are usually a part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves or have shown strong, genuine support for them throughout their careers. However, sometimes Gay Icons are somewhat ironic, and are appointed to icon status through inside jokes or associations. Some great examples of this would be Wendy Williams, Faye Dunaway in Mommy Dearest, and The Babadook.
Gay Icons go way back, with some major stars before the age of the internet or even technicolor serving as examples. The really important part of the Gay Icon category is that it is a very historical group, with large, intense, and passionate fandoms existing for their chosen person for centuries, even going back to the French Revolution (yes, Marie Antoinette was a gay icon!). Gay Icons have such a storied history that contributes to their longevity and resilience of their fans, making the fans of the Gay Icons iconic in their own right. The major Gay Icons of history include, but are not limited to: Judy Garland, Madonna, Cher, Elton John, and Princess Diana. In terms of actors, famous modern-day examples are Laura Dern, Natasha Lyonne, and Cate Blanchette.
For singers, Lady Gaga is probably the biggest present-day example, with other female vocalists like Charli XCX, Kim Petras, Reneé Rapp, and musical group boygenius fitting into the narrative.
Don’t worry we’re almost done! Number four is the category I call “Young Women Feeling Seen.” This group of celebrities is a niche subset of musicians who write songs that just speak to young women in particular. I would consider Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey to be the true pioneers of this genre, so by default, they are standout examples and are basically the originators of this genre. Other artists that I feel have really cemented themselves into this group are singers Phoebe Bridgers, Gracie Abrams, Lizzy McAlpine, and Olivia Rodrigo.
Characteristics of these artists and their fans are a bit similar to the kind of relationships seen with “Talented Older-ish Actors,” where these individuals seem to have some sort of thing about them that makes them so intriguing, while also being very talented artists and songwriters.
The songwriter aspect of their persona is especially important to this relationship because it is a major element of why their fans are so obsessed with them. Artists in this category write music about relationships, heartbreak, anxiety, and other really personal topics that particularly connect with young women going through similar experiences, hence the "feeling seen" aspect. If you’ve ever listened to a song like “Motion Sickness” by Phoebe Bridgers or “The Archer” by Taylor Swift and thought “Wow, that is so me,” then you get what I mean.
The last category of celebrity obsession I will be covering is most commonly dubbed on the internet as “White Boy of the Month,” which encapsulates attractive men that everyone online seems to become inexplicably thirsty for at the same time. This obsession is typically short-lived, widespread online, and is probably the most sexual in nature of all of the categories. These are the celebrity crush-types, the ones that people everywhere are fantasizing about for the short span of time that they get their spotlight. These young men are typically (but not limited to being) skinny, white boys who take the internet by storm and are thus crowned “White Boy of the Month.” Realistically, this category should actually be called "Flavor of the Month," but in practice, the flavor is typically vanilla, if you get what I mean.
I believe that the first White Boy of the Month that really set this trend off was Timothée Chalamet, who became incredibly popular after starring in the film Call Me By Your Name and has since become a full-fledged movie star. Others who have fallen into this category include most recent Spider-Man Tom Holland, Elvis cosplayer Austin Butler, SNL comedian Pete Davidson, and former Disney Channel star Ross Lynch.
With all of this new knowledge (or review) of celebrity obsessions and the forms they come in, we can come to certain conclusions about what kinds of people these things mostly affect: young women and the LGBTQ+ community. While there definitely are straight men who love Cillian Murphy, their levels of obsession tend to be expressed differently than women and queer people. So, why are these groups obsessed with celebrities while straight men (seemingly) aren’t?
In my lengthy thoughts on why we have these obsessions, and why I have these obsessions, I’ve racked my brain on what could be the culprit.
Is it some sort of mental illness, like I alluded to before? Is it an aesthetic thing? Is it because I am just noisy and want to learn about new people, and famous ones happen to be easier to find more information about without having to actually talk to them about it? All of these might very well be pieces to the puzzle, but I really think that this is the truth:
these obsessions exist because they fill a void.
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The world we live in can be really shitty, this is not news. There are so many things that remind us how shitty the world is: war, racism, homelessness, climate change. Dwelling on these things for long enough can really make you lose faith in our world. But, with enough privilege or distractions, it becomes easy to momentarily forget or even completely neglect to acknowledge the hardships our world brings on. I’d argue, however, that only some people get the luxury of forgetting these troubles for longer periods of time.
If you have more privileges in our world, you’re less likely to be faced with the societal problems of life. In this case specifically, women and LGBTQ+ communities tend to be more aware of the harsh realities of being a minority group in comparison to straight men. These groups are keenly aware of our place in the world, and we must suffer the consequences of misogyny, homophobia, and all of the violence and bigotry that comes with it. And, when we want to express ourselves or break out of society's confines of behavior, we are punished for it.
These obsessions, therefore, can serve as an escape, a fantasy world where our interests and passions are not only accepted, but are celebrated.
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There is a now popular clip from podcast Beautiful and Bothered where one of the hosts remarks, “People don’t hate gay men, they hate femininity.” They go on to talk about how growing up as a gay man, the host realized that all of the things he was ridiculed for that related to his sexuality were distinctly feminine behaviors, and that he noticed women expressing the same behaviors were equally ridiculed. I bring this up to say that part of why the escapism of celebrity obsessions is so scrutinized is because of the demographics its most associated with. The celebrity obsession is a type of fantasy for those who feel that they don’t have agency in this world, which is also what leads to much of the anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues widely experienced by these groups. Interestingly, though, mental health and celebrity obsessions are both highly pathologized by society.
Why? Because they are historically associated with femininity.
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hysterical history
When Beatlemania was at its height in the 1960s, the screaming teenage girls who loved The Beatles were typically dubbed as “hysterical” and have even been studied as a potential case of “mass hysteria” among scientists. Nowadays, the passionate fans of artists like One Direction and Taylor Swift get mocked with the same patronizing sentiment.
All previous jokes aside, the categorization of celebrity obsession as hysterical is interesting; the word comes from centuries-old,
pseudo-scientific beliefs of hysteria as a “women's disease” that can be cured through various therapies, ranging from regular sexual intercourse (but only straight intercourse) to being sent away to live by the sea.
If only my doctor prescribed me sex and a beach vacation when I have a meltdown.
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The origin of the word “hysteria” actually comes from the word “uterus.” With that, many of the initial ancient prognoses for hysteria were some sort of illness of the uterus, and the cure being something to do with childbearing. Being single was the problem, getting married and having babies was the solution. However, the Middle Ages saw an advance in more supernatural theories on hysteria, with the default culprit of these disturbed and unhappy feelings in women being satanic.
Because obviously if women are sad, we must be in cahoots with the devil, right?
However, we can’t talk about the history of hysteria without mentioning our boy Sigmund Freud. While he might be most known for being the father of psychoanalysis and asserting that everyone wants to bone their parents, he also was one of the first to change the game in theories of hysteria by not only stating that men could be hysterical too, but that hysteria is actually caused by not getting laid! Even though it was still thought of as a “disease of women,” this is the first acknowledgement of hysteria being a mental problem rather than a purely physical one. Except, the solution is still said to be physical.
Later, during both World Wars, military doctors reported seeing increased cases of what they called hysteria in patients who did not seem to have personal or familiar histories of health problems. As we can see, this is when the concept of hysteria shifts to more of a problem with one’s mental state rather than a libido issue. As more men witnessed the horrors of war, they became anxious, depressed, and even experienced physical symptoms of what we know as PTSD and panic attacks. In spite of these revelations, hysteria continued to be a "women’s disease," particularly one that afflicted housewives and working women of the midcentury. In short, when men went through some of the worst trauma known to man, they began to experience similar symptoms to just being a woman! All in all, women who were deemed overly emotional, which was pretty much all women, were hysterical, and thus must be either sexually depraved, single, or satanic.
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If it wasn’t obvious enough already, what was called “hysteria” is really just examples of people experiencing anxiety, depression, stress, prejudice, loneliness, and any other general problem that affects the mind. Doctors nowadays don’t believe in the idea of hysteria, but that didn’t stop the term from being used over and over again to describe when women show over-the-top emotions, hence why it was associated with devoted fans of The Beatles. The feelings they had when seeing an artist whose music has changed their lives were overwhelming and incredibly exciting. The screaming, crying, fainting, and other behaviors called hysteria are things we also might do when on a ride at Disneyland, unexpectedly seeing a loved one, or witnessing a traumatic event.
Feeling things openly and without shame are associated with women. They may result in us being referred to as “dramatic,” “emotional,” or even “hysterical,” but they are just reactions to experiencing life. Historically, though, men are not supposed to show these emotions.
Boys don’t cry, the strong silent type, being a “pussy.” Men are socially punished for showing their emotions. But hey, women are too!
We just get a fancy name for it: hysterical.
Female hysteria is considered just that: female. You rarely hear men being called hysterical, unless it’s used with the positive connotation of being funny. But think about it, have you ever seen a man feel so much passionate emotion towards something that sems silly? Like, maybe when their team misses a free throw in the fourth quarter? Or when their bracket gets ruined in March Madness? Or their favorite player gets traded? Isn’t that just hysterical?
men can be delusional, too
If you, dear reader, have had the pleasure of intimately knowing (or being) a straight man, first of all, I’m sorry. That’s really a lot to handle. Second of all, have you noticed what straight men are actually obsessed with? Apparently it’s the Roman Empire for some reason????
Jokes aside, most of the straight men I know are clinically obsessed with sports and the athletes that play them. Even if they are watching a sport that they have never played, they get intensely invested. Men watch and analyze sports with an intensity like they are coaching the team, and if they themselves can’t guide the quarterback back into the next first down from the comfort of their living rooms, they feel like it’s all their fault that their team had to turn over the ball. Or better yet, if the coach could have just taken advice from them directly, a guy who played JV football 10 years ago, they would have been able to gain a few more yards.
Plus, even with the exciting rise of mainstream popularity with women's sports, men still generally only want to watch men playing sports to relive the days of yore.
These obsessions have arguably gotten even more substantial with the popularization of sports betting, fantasy sports, and streaming in the past ten years or so, giving them more access to not only watch as many games as possible, but to become directly involved in the game’s outcomes. As I hinted at before, the funny part of all is that a lot of men who love sports are also kinda bad at sports, at least comparatively.
Don’t get me wrong, many, many men who are obsessed with sports are also decent athletes. But many also got cut from their high school basketball team or didn’t make their college rec league. And those that did, they rarely get to live the high life of an athlete beyond their high school or college years. All in all, men who themselves are not athletically inclined or have grown out of the age where they can get through life just by being athletes resort to living out their fantasies of being respected athletes through watching, talking about, and betting on sports.
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Another key example of male obsession is that of the video game. Now, I won’t go into too much detail on what these obsessions look like, frankly because I don’t really know what they look like. I am not ashamed to admit that I don’t know any men obsessed with video games. However, I have come across several “incels” in my time as a woman, and I understand that many of those individuals are cross-listed with the category of video game obsessives. If you are blissfully unaware, incel means “involuntary celebate,” and is an online community of straight white men who blame women for their inability to find love, and thus resort to self-loathing, misogyny, and violence against women. They are basically male supremacists. This subculture of men have become very popular and very hostile, known advocates for sexual harassment and violence towards women as well as outright extermination of women as a punishment for not having sex with them.
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As you may be able to infer, incels have been able to find allegiance with many alt-right groups that share similar ideas of white, male supremacy and eugenicist thoughts. In relation to video games, I am also not sure what the correlation is exactly between incels and gaming.
While obviously not all gamers are incels and vice versa, there seems to be a common thread holding these groups together. The typical stereotype of a gamer in movies and TV, for example, is usually the same stereotype of an incel: nerdy young men who hermit themselves in their rooms staring at computer screens and gaming consoles 24/7. I’d argue that this link comes from the anonymity that many video games foster for their players, creating a supposed “safe space” for bigots to express their more controversial feelings, which is also something common in the online chat rooms where the incel community arose from. In these online spaces, they feel free to complain and plot against this world that has seemingly forbidden them from being the manly, sexually active men they wish they could be. They can air out their grievances of their oppression.
But let’s be real, are they really oppressed?
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What I’m not trying to say here is that all men who like sports are loser wannabes and all men who like video games are incels. While a lot of them very well could be, I’m more trying to get at how the world we live in can make men feel as if they are oppressed for being men (just like women are oppressed for being women), but since they are actually the ones with the power in society, their sense of entitlement to not be oppressed is expressed a lot more angrily and violently than women express theirs. They need these fantasies too, but theirs get so much more intense because they believe that they shouldn’t really have to feel this way. They have some sense that men rule the world, and when they don’t feel like they are actively ruling the world or even just getting their way just by being men, that’s when things can turn for the worse.
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Sports and video games are also indulgent fantasies, just like our celebrity obsessions, but it’s not always stemming from real societal oppression. It’s from the overbearing pressures to be a man in our society. Athletes and video game characters, like our celebrity obsessions, are treated like gods, and whether fictional or real people, are praised by their fans for being the best at their craft. Lebron James is (arguably) the best basketball player. Master Chief is the best alien-fighting super soldier (yes I had to look that one up). They are beloved, incredible at what they do, and are aspirational. If you feel inferior in your world, wouldn’t you look up to someone who overcomes the odds and becomes the best? The hero? The Beyoncé? I know I would.
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The big difference, as we can see, is that men are a lot more at risk of not handling these obsessions as well as women are able to. Swifties aren’t betting the house on if she wins "Album of the Year" at the Grammys. They also aren’t punching holes in the walls when they read that Timothée Chalamet got a girlfriend. And they especially aren’t creating secretive online cults aimed to rape and murder all men in the world in retaliation for not wanting to have sex with them. They are mostly living their daily lives, being normal people and doing normal things, but spend their free time daydreaming about what would happen if Pedro Pascal walked into the room right now and asked them to run away together.
Or maybe that’s just me. You get the picture.
Even though I am giving a lot of shit to the traditionally male obsessions, that is not to say that women and LGBTQ+ people’s obsessions aren’t taken too far as well. While it might be rarer and generally less widespread as, say, the incel community, it can be just as dangerous.
A poignant example from recent history is the infamous “Cut4Zayn” trend on Twitter. After Zayn Malik announced that he was leaving One Direction in March 2015, fans of the band began trending the hashtag #Cut4Zayn and posted pictures of themselves self harming in hopes that their drastic measures would motivate him to rethink his decision to leave. These fans spreading this idea were mostly young women, many of whom younger than 16, and promoting self harm and suicidal ideation in response to the happenings of their favorite boyband. Unfortunately, a lot of Zayn’s reasons for leaving the band were due to his own mental health struggles and self harming, which goes to show even further how saddening the entire situation was for everyone involved, publicly or not.
Obviously, fans using their own lives as leverage for their celebrity obsession to do something they want them to do is absolutely terrifying and dangerous. But, it still happens. Female fans can still take their obsessions too far, just like incels. There are countless stories of male celebrities getting stalked by their female fans, with every the members of One Direction, including Harry Styles, having had very scary stalker incidences that have led them to require 24/7 security teams and even having to move homes. These dynamics of over-the-top obsessions still occur with people that aren't men, however, the risks and the consequences of the obsession taken too far are vastly different.
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As we have seen with some examples of traditionally male obsessions, the passions are actually spread pretty equally among genders.
Just as many men would fly across the world just to watch their favorite athlete play as women would book a flight to see Taylor Swift in another country. However, the expression when these obsessions get really intense is what creates the most difference. Straight men are just as susceptible as anyone else to adverse emotions, like jealousy or anger, but they are more likely to exhibit these feelings through violence. Women and the LGBTQ+ community aren't more likely than straight men to have obsessions, but they are more likely to express them in a healthier way.
Traditional gender roles definitely play a lot into this, too. See, men are historically not encouraged to talk about their feelings. As Tony Soprano famously called it, "the strong silent type." Men are supposed to keep their feelings inside, not be overly enthusiastic or emotional, unless, of course, they are expressing it through angry outbursts, usually deemed as being "assertive" and "manly." We only really see men show their big emotions when dangerously angry or when they engage in obsessions, like with sports. If this environment is the only outlet where men can express their emotions, they are much more at risk to take their emotions too far and let it turn into overwhelm.
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With women and the LGBTQ+ community, we are stereotypically drama queens. We gossip, we cry, we smile, and we express ourselves. It's seen as more acceptable for us to talk about our feelings and show our emotions, the good and the bad, and especially when we are all together. We can express our feelings as they come and go, so when we have big feelings about our obsessions, we have a knowledge of our feelings that helps us navigate them. We are more used to expressing our feelings in healthier ways, and since it's more socially acceptable for us to feel what we feel out loud, we know how to handle it when we are faced with our obsessions. We might scream and cry, but we're not gonna punch a wall. Even though we (I) might want to sometimes.
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not all obsessives are treated equal
Remember how I said that men can be disadvantaged in some ways but not others? Well, there are different parts of men's identities that make them more privileged compared to other men: height, weight, race, sexuality, income, the list could go on forever. As we saw earlier with incels, those men typically have less societal privilege than others because they don't conform to the societal hierarchies of what a man should be, or in other words, they are less advantaged because society deems them to be so. This, my friends, is where the idea of intersectionality becomes extremely important in discussing fandoms.
Now is the time I can flex my upcoming Bachelor’s in Sociology!
Thanks Michigan!
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If you are unfamiliar, in its most basic terms, intersectionality is the connections between different pieces of one’s identity and how it creates a unique experience of identity. For example, in terms of discrimination, a person who identifies with multiple minority groups (let’s say, a person who identifies as a Black queer woman), might not only be prejudiced against for their gender, but also for their Blackness and queerness, and even for being a combination of all these different identities.
Basically, all one’s identities can come together and create one’s individual, unquantifiable, and unique experience. If this doesn’t make too much sense, I suggest looking into the works of scholar and fellow Northeast Ohio native Kimberlé Crenshaw, who herself coined the term intersectionality. As a sociology nerd, I’m also kinda obsessed with her.
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The reason why I feel that intersectionality is paramountly important in finding the benefits in celebrity obsession is because it heavily influences the demographics and their treatment in different fandoms. See, not all fans within a fan base are equal. In many cases, there can be underlying entitlement of certain fans over others, which has in some cases even exposed racism in certain fans. The best example of this phenomenon occurring is with, you guessed it, Swifties! Whodathunk that a group of mostly young women would be such a fruitful and rewarding topic of study? Certainly not most academics I’ve read.
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Anyways, the stereotypical demographic of Taylor Swift fans are actually very similar to Swift herself: white, straight (allegedly…), affluent, cisgender, and fairly young. However, she still has a large number of fans who do not fit into these categories. Now, if you’re familiar with Swift’s reputation (pun intended) before she was pretty much everywhere you look, let’s say, when she was had more of a run-of-the-mill type celebrity status around 2017-2019, she began to take on a more “feminist” persona, especially with her albums Reputation and Lover. Both works stay true to her general themes of love, heartbreak and personal dilemmas, but especially after her heavily publicized drama with Kanye West and even further with former manager Scooter Braun, her songs began to veer into more female empowerment territories, with songs like “I Did Something Bad,” “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things,” “You Need to Calm Down,” and “The Man.” These songs and others discuss her plights within these personal and professional relationships with powerful men in her industry, and how her identity as a woman leads them to disrespect her, taunt her, and overall undermine her success.
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In addition to these songs, she has also publicly supported many womens rights issues and endorsed Democratic political candidates, generally aligning herself with the more inclusive and progressive political affiliations. On paper, this may make Swift seem like a role model in celebrity feminism. However, many would beg to differ. She tends to take on the role of a “white feminist,” which refers to feminism that mainly focuses on issues that affect white women and ignoring issues that affect other identities or intersections between femininity and others. This type of feminism is sadly what most of modern pop culture thinks of as feminism, which greatly disadvantages all other intersectional identities of womanhood by proxy, and ensures equality and freedoms only for some women, not all.
Swift tends to stay pretty politically neutral publicly. While she has spoken out against figures like D*n*ld Tr*mp and supported initiatives like Black Lives Matter, she does not push further against institutional forms of discrimination or acknowledge, let’s say, bigotry that specifically affects non-white women. Her feminism is a palatable, easily understood, and blanket support of women without recognition of more complex issues many women face and thus need true intersectional feminism to combat.
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With this reliance on a more cookie-cutter feminism, Swift’s majority fanbase is able to identify with her struggles of being a white woman, and equally ignore feminist issues that affect more intersectional Swifties. This sadly has caused a lot of prejudice and discrimination within her fanbase, mainly due to her white, straight female fans not being able to accept intersectionality within the Swiftie community due to the, not being able to specifically relate to Taylor's identity.
Not to mention, Swift is also arguably the perfect beauty standard for white women in America: tall, blonde, skinny, conventionally attractive, etc.While those aspects of her identity don’t necessarily make or break one’s ability to be a real feminist, they do carry immense privilege that Swift rarely, if ever, acknowledges. This can even further alienate her fans who do not have so many privileges, and make fans with those identity markers feel even more entitled to be the “true” fans, and demoting others, such as her Black fans, as not.
Without acknowledgement in the Swiftie community of the intersectionality present and necessary within feminism for all, white Swifties are enabled to see themselves as the true beacons of Swift’s words, the ones who can feel and empathize with her struggles, because they themselves can feel her struggles as a woman, but do not feel the need to understand the struggles of other women with more complicated experiences of discrimination.
While we’re on the topic of intersectionality in fandoms, I feel that it would be unjust if I did not discuss non-white fan bases of celebrities, and how those relationships to obsession can appear very similar to the examples discussed above. While I know this work mostly focuses on how the experiences of women and queer people in fandoms arise due to discrimination and inequity, those same problems also create a similar desire for escapism in other minority groups.
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Before I start, I want to acknowledge that as a straight white woman, I cannot completely conceptualize the relationships between those demographics and their respective celebrity obsessions. Nonetheless, with my expertise in fan culture, I will draw comparisons as best as I can to what I know to be true, and try to help explain how celebrity obsession can be a response to hardship that anyone faces.
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Interestingly, but perhaps not surprisingly, many of the celebrities associated with minority groups are members of those identities too.
For the purpose of providing the most informed explanation, I will be focusing on Black celebrity obsession as a stand in for fandoms wherein race is a key factor in the celebrity and the fan experience. For example, there are many celebrities deemed “Black celebrities” who are particularly popular within the Black community. For example, while certain celebrities who are Black like Drake or Oprah have a notable amount of Black fans, they are also very conventionally popular amongst many different groups and can apply their stardom to most demographics. However, there are certain celebrities who have distinctly Black fanbases, such as Toni Braxton, Katt Williams, Arsenio Hall, and Angela Bassett. These “Black celebrities” hold a particular connection with Black fans, who, much more specifically than non-Black fans, feel a sense of true understanding and allegiance with these individuals.
I feel that this concept is especially evident in the case of Black comedians, such as Katt Williams.
As previously outlined, many fans connect with certain celebrities because they can relate to their identity and particular experiences.
Many Black fans can relate to comics like Williams particularly due to his more overt mentions and dwellings on Black culture, and can understand even hyper-specific references to the African American experience that a lot of white Americans simply do not relate to.
Another sociology concept, written by Raquel Gates, called “negativity” helps paint a picture as to why celebrities like Katt Williams attract a more specifically Black fandom than say, Kevin Hart.
In simple terms, Hart is a “positive” representation while Williams is the “negative.” But wait a second, in this context, positive and negative aren’t synonymous with “good” and “bad.” Here, it is more helpful to think of them in terms of a photonegative; they are mere inverses of each other. With that in mind, the positive representations of Kevin Hart show reference to Blackness, but keep things in relation to the Black identity fairly vanilla and mostly beneficial, maybe joking around about Black stereotypes, but overall maintaining a sense of constructive representative of Blackness. However, Katt Williams subverts this idea and instead portrays more offbeat, and to some unacceptable, norms of the African American experience.
For many, Williams’s portrayal of his Blackness feels more relatable than Hart’s because it is less focused on showing Blackness as good and respectable and instead makes it feel more raw, realistic, and sometimes socially (in hegemonic white society) unacceptable. Negativity is really about being unapologetically real, not matter how society deems your behavior. With this comes a sort of detachment from translating one's authenticity to those who don't understand it or don't want to understand it. This, through expressing sometimes unconventional (well, at least, to white folks) behaviors and practices, helps Black fans feel seen and understood by "Black celebrities."
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The concept of negativity can manifest with really any celebrity, no matter the demographic they appeal to. Another great example of negative and positive representations when it comes to young women would be Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Rodrigo (who, unrelated, have beef. oops!). Sabrina is a conventionally attractive girly pop star, making music about love and her relationships with boys. Her entire persona is very palatable to pop fans, and it has lead to her steady rise into pop stardom (plus, touring with Taylor Swift definitely helps). Olivia, on the other hand, has more of a pop-punk style to her music, less bubblegum and more
Blink-182. Her general persona is also more edgy and subversive than Sabrina's, singing more overtly about being toxic in relationships, being jealous of other women (including Sabrina), and desperately wanting your ex back (even if it's just because he was really good in bed). Even though they are both beloved by their fans, I would argue that Olivia's more disruptive reputation connects with young women in ways that Sabrina's doesn't, making Olivia a negative of young women, and Sabrina a positive. Sabrina is palatable to the masses, but Olivia really speaks to the nuances of her audience.
Moreover, just as much as "Black celebrities" create a mutual understanding, Black fans can utilize celebrities as a means of escapism, too. In a similar manner to how women might fulfill their fantasy of being unconditionally loved and respected by a man through projection onto celebrities, Black people can fulfill a fantasy of a world that justly appreciates and respects Black artistry as much as it does with white people’s. If, let’s say, a young white woman projects her struggles to find a perfect boyfriend in a world with so much misogyny, she might impose her impossible ideal partner onto Timotheé Chalamet, and thus respond to a world that is unfair to her by creating a picture of a man who treats her how she wishes she could be treated. Similarly, a young Black woman who idolizes Zendaya sees her as a real-world example of Black excellence that she may one day be able to emulate. This ideation, whether romantic fantasies or inspirations for the future, are ways to combat a harsh world we want have an escape from.
obsessions matter.
While some celebrity obsessions and fantasies do sound pretty ridiculous when taken out of context, like how I thought that Harry Styles would rescue me from my small town existence, they can provide really impactful and even inspirational tools to survive a life that beats you down. This is especially why I feel that celebrity obsessions are most notably associated with discriminated groups: they create an escape from a world that isn’t fair to us. Imagining yourself living a life where you can get what you want, or even seeing a celebrity living the kind of life you wish you could, can help you realize that you can actually chase and fulfill your dreams.
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That’s the beauty of these obsessions. It’s like that quote, “If you can dream it, you can do it.” If you can picture yourself being loved by the guy of your dreams, you can raise your standards and find a guy who does treat you right. If you can watch a movie with Zendaya and then spend the rest of the day imagining yourself as a badass Dune character or a sexy tennis player, you might gain the courage to do the thing you always wanted to do, but never did. Celebrity obsessions can be the push you need to do what you want with your life.
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Just because they are also fun doesn't mean they aren't important.
When I think about my own obsessions, like my current (and constant) fixation on Beyoncé or my long standing obsession with Harry Styles, I can really understand the ways that they actually do make me feel better when life gets rough. The times when I feel down about being single, hoping that a guy I meet might make a good boyfriend, my fantasies of a loving relationship with Harry Styles remind me that I shouldn’t settle for someone just because I’m lonely. All of the things I want in a relationship can be laid out on the table when I think of my imaginary boyfriend, projected onto whoever my current tier one is. If the guys I’m meeting out aren’t treating me the way my imaginary boyfriend is, then they aren’t worth my time.
When I’m feeling like I don’t belong somewhere, like I’m not good enough, or like my identity as a woman holds me back from what I want, listening to Beyoncé or watching her concert film Homecoming makes me feel like I can run the world too. I know it sounds cheesy, but she really does make me feel more confident in my identity as a woman. Having those reminders of my worth and my ability to create a life where I’m happy inside my head undoubtedly makes them worth it.
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Even when I feel like the world is against me, my celebrity obsessions make me feel accepted, loved, and less alone. They remind me of my worth, and even though it’s through the vehicle of something outside of myself, when you look at where these obsessions come from, you realize that they are all in your head. You are the one showing yourself the life you want. You are the one making and reliving the fantasies of being treated how you want.
Then, these so-called stupid celebrity obsessions actually become a way to love yourself.
See, these obsessions fill a sort of void in our lives, and in my life. Whether it relates to feelings of not being good enough, feeling unlovable, imposter syndrome, or even institutionalized discrimination, projecting your wants and needs onto a celebrity obsession helps to make these problems feel more in control, your goals more attainable, and even can help you figure out what you want out of life. See, these obsessions and fantasies can really work as a tool to process the world we live in.
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If you feel lonely and in need of a friend, you can turn on your favorite Taylor Swift song and relate to her feelings. If the guy you like is acting like an idiot, you can daydream about what it would be like to have a nice, mature guy around in the form of Harry Styles. If you’re not feeling confident in yourself because your identity makes the world take you less seriously, you can blast Beyoncé and envision yourself as confident and secure as she is. No matter the problem, the adversity, the thing you can’t control, you can control your thoughts. You can control your biggest, wildest dreams of the life you always wanted. You can create an escape from the things that hurt you in this world, and create a safe space where what you truly want is there.
While a lot of what I’ve covered relates to marginalized people, the truth is, fantasy serves the same purpose for everyone, no matter your place in the world. The escapist element of celebrity obsession is demonstrative of how difficult it is to be a person, but especially to be a person without power. Life can always suck, no matter who you are. The reason why marginalized groups really understand these obsessions, though, is because a lot of our problems are systemic, and thus can be even more out of our control. Nonetheless, we all need to escape the world sometimes. That’s why people read books, watch TV, or even get belligerently drunk. Sometimes, we need to let go of the real world.
We all know that these things are escapism, but the fact is, we don’t care.
In these fixations on celebrities, they can fill that void that we need in our lives. Our tier one celebrity crushes are the boyfriends who treat us how we want a real boyfriend to treat us. Taylor Swift is the best friend we wish we had, comforting us in our dark times and helping us feel like we’re not alone. Even Pedro Pascal can be the responsible adult boyfriends we
20-something year olds wish we could have. These obsessions, you see, are projections. Since we don’t truly know these people to their core, they can be whoever we want, or more aptly put, whoever we need them to be. We can be treated so unkindly in this world for things we can’t change, and when we are aware of that imbalance of power, even subconsciously, we have no choice but to find what we need in ourselves when we can’t find it in the real world.
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If that’s wrong, I don’t want to be right.
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And if that’s batshit crazy, then call me hysterical.
